Starting the "year ago's"

One year ago today we took Michael back to the airport after R&R and he was on his way back. I held it together back to the gate. I lost it when I had to say goodbye. He wasn't looking forward to his trip back, to say the least. We wouldn't have imagined in a million years it would be the last time. The last time I saw his smile and his big blue eyes in person. The last hug. The last kiss. The last extra-long hand-hold. The last face-to-face "I love you, baby." I wouldn't have let go. He wouldn't have either. Now I hold him in my heart and think of the day I get to see him again.

Miss you, baby.

I just realized I have 21 followers- neat!

How can I do thank all the followers? Well any questions or concerns- let me know with the comments! I would assume you all come from a couple groups. The military wives/girlfriends/fiance's or just significant others who I knew before I lost Michael. To that group I say thank you every single day for what you do. I know that it is not an easy thing at all! To be without the person you need, your best friend, for 4-6-12 months or longer is the most challenging thing. Add in any children, which many of you have, and you are all angels to me. Weather your husband is around right now, soon to be deployed, deployed, soon to come back, gone for training, on duty this weekend, recently arrived back from deployment- it's all so much more difficult that you can imagine and with you I know I can be real- you understand on a different level. Thank you for that!

Another group- my girlfriends. Hopefully this helps you to understand where I'm at and how I'm feeling when sometimes its difficult to talk about. You have all been great. You are amazing people who deserve the lives of your dreams.

So thanks, followers, for following what I have to say. I know it can be off the wall. It can be sad and lethargic. And it can be downright depressing. But thats how i feel and I feel a lone a lot of the time. Its nice to have someone to write it down. Thank you!!

Want to see more?

More from the cottage in NY :)

small side note:

We bought the Jeep 1 year ago today. Isn't life strange. A year ago we were the giddy couple in the Jeep dealership you could talk into buying the most tricked-out version of a Jeep Wrangler because we were so excited to have a car together. One year later I'm trying to figure out how to get it all in my name, and then continue to be able to pay for it. But I do love the darn thing.

Instead of the 4th of July...

I went to upstate NY to visit with Justina. This time last year I was picking Mike up at the airport. We then spent the 2 best weeks of our lives doing whatever we wanted- drinking, laughing, talking, cuddling, swimming, playing with dogs, meeting up with old friends, telling stories, seeing our families, taking pictures, vacation to Niagra Falls, and on and on. All our dicsussions had the undertoans of "just wait until February. you'll be back then and we can do whatever we want all the time." I know it was motivation for him to get back here. So a trip was in order, and Justina and Tony were kind enough to invite me to stay with them at the cabin they rent on the St. Lawrence River in NY.

Justina really took the better pictures so there are more to come, but here are some highlights of the trip.

Friday:

Lily and I left for our 6.5hr drive at around 9am and arrived rather uneventfully in Watertown, NY at Tony and Junstina's place at 4pm. This is the exact time we were trying to avoid since they are selling their house and had a showing at 4. So we piled their animals into our Jeep with Lily and I and went to see the house they are buying. We had a Irish terrier, Rickey, a toy Poodle, Bear, and a Parrot, Rocco in the car with Lily and myself, and of course Justina. We were a zoo on wheels! When we got back to the house we all let the pets meet each other- oh and added their hound dog, Ziggy to the mix.

Saturday:


We packed up the Van, Truck, and my Jeep, hitched the boat to the truck and made our way to the cabin. Once we were there it was established that Lily would have a much better time off her leash/tie out and running aorund with the other dogs. I was SO NERVOUS because Lily is known to follow her beagle instincts and not come back but Justina helped me let go and not be such and overbearing puppy parent, and it went better than I could have imagined! She ran around with the pack, rolled in the sandy dirt, dug holes, crawled through the brush- had, in general, the time of her life.

Sunday & Monday




We grilled out and ate fabulous food- and wayyyyy too much of it! Enjoyed beer, and some wine late into the evenings. The dogs played and Lily was exhausted. We went on their motorboat and let Lily come along. She sat up in the front, nose to the wind, big ears flapping loving every minute of it. I just laughed at how well she was doing with everything. Justina and I toured a castle they have on a nearby island and it was a pretty neat thing to see.

Tuesday

It was time to pack up and leave. I got everything into the Jeep and said goodbye to my favorite friend. Lily said by to everyone, even Bear, who didn't say goodbye to her! Thank goodness for good friends who know you need some time away. I loved my little cabin vacation!