Our friends drove me to the hospital. Once I got out of the car at the hospital another large woosh convinced me that I was probably not going home. Our friends offered to stay the night with me, but I promised I'd be ok. Nick was able to I get the earliest flight out of Cleveland and was at the hospital by 9:30 am the next day.
That night, I definitely freaked out that I was alone. I talked to Nick a lot and had the most fantastic nurse who took care of me, Bev. I hardly slept but felt mostly fine, just uncomfortable. I was having contractions but I didn't feel any of them. Because I was having contractions they wouldn't feed me, but they gave me some jello and water. Nick called my Mom and Dad and explained what was happening. Every time we had to tell someone about it, we had to make sure they knew it wasn't an April fools joke. I called Mom and Dad too to make sure they knew I was fine, but they were still worried.
The next morning my doctor came to check on me. We talked about how I was feeling, and what the plan should be. I was 33 weeks and 6 days so her plan was to let my body go and see what it was trying to do. My contractions weren't hurting, and they weren't regular, so she thought I could make it a day or two. Everyone was worried about the baby's lungs. So the plan was wait it out, and start pitocin Thursday if necessary. After discussing that she wanted to check me. I was 4cm! So she said things may pick up, since that was a lot more than anyone was expecting.
As soon as nick arrived I felt a million times better. He sat down beside me and apologized up and down for not being home. He cried. We cried. And we regrouped and we were together. Mom and Dad got there shortly after Nick. No one would feed me since I was close to active labor. I labored all day with contractions I could feel but not badly, hoping my body would pick up. Everyone was waiting for me to be in pain, then they would know I was progressing. It's a weird feeling waiting for pain. It stalled out a bit and my Mom and Dad went home to our place around 6pm.
At about 9pm I was starting to feel more pain, but I was also so tired, so hungry, and so exhausted at the thought of doing this for 2 more days. I was most comfortable sitting up or on the edge of the bed. (Oh that hospital bed was not comfortable). When I would sit up, the baby's heart rate would drop. He was not tolerating the contractions well at that angle. I was so uncomfortable. Around midnight Nick had a serious talk with me about getting an epidural. The pain was definitely there, but manageable, but I was so afraid I would have to do this for another 24 hours. He rationalized that and epidural would get me some rest for the night and that I was not in any shape to deliver a baby without some rest. I was not thrilled with the prospect of an epidural, and I was also extremely afraid of something in my spine. But I was exhausted and shaking and I had to do something.
My awesome nurse Ronia calmed me down a bit and tried to check me before the epidural. My doctor came back to see how I was, checked and said I as a little over 4cm. She said we'd start some pitocin since I was getting the epidural and maybe get the show on the road. The anesthesiologist explained everything to me and was so good at putting in the epidural. It was so, so much easier than I expected!! I was thrilled once it was in and so relived. I had to lay flat for 10 min after the epidural. Then things got crazy! As I was laying down my blood pressure dropped and Killian's heart rate disappeared, so the 6 nurses in my room started to move me from one side to another, gave me an oxygen mask, told me to relax and take deep breaths (ha!). I had no idea what was going on, but Ronia came back to the room and said the doctor thought we should have an emergency C section because Killian was not tolerating the contractions or the epidural. Nick and I said ok, and I was actually very relieved to get the babe out and safe. Nick called Mom and Dad, and then put on the scrubs. My doctor came in and just wanted to check me one last time. After all that quick commotion, I was 10cm. She then said something like this to me, "Lets just do this! I know you don't know me very well, and for a first time mom this isn't going to be easy, but the baby is small, and I think you can deliver him. He isn't going to tolerate pushing well so we only have about 20 minutes. I will tell you what to do. If we can't get him out then well do the c section. What do you think? Do you want to try?" Thank God for her. So we got ready.
Suddenly I was pushing, with no idea what I was doing. I couldn't feel a thing. Nick was super helpful. Holding your breath and pushing for 10 whole seconds is a really long time. I didn't think I was doing anything. Nick was the one telling me I was doing it. Then we were close, I was trying hard but not sure I was pushing the right way. Then she delivered him, with the words "whoa tight fit!" Killian was 6lbs 1oz.
He cried right away, which brought us so much relief. Nick went over to see him with the people from the NICU. They let me see him quickly and hold him for a couple minutes. We took the first (and worst) family picture ever. Then they went to the NICU and Nick went with them. Then I was just in a daze of what had all happened. Once I settled a bit, I was working on my epidural wearing off so that I could go see him.
He kept us on our toes the entire time, changing his mind, being finicky, and making his own rules. He was worth every single second and more. I love him beyond words.