Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Morning Hugs, Music & Plants

These are today's happy things. I love music, and I haven't had a new music in a while. Downloaded an album (ya, I'm so cool I call it an "album") this morning at work to accompany some of my paperwork and organizing I needed to get done. I fell head over heals for The Civil Wars. Listen to my favorite one so far below. I literally (really- literally) get goosebumps when I listen to it because it just freaking strikes something in me.

Dance Me to the End of Love
The Civil Wars

Dance me to your beauty like a burning violin
Dance me through the panic 'til I'm gathered safely in
Lift me like an olive branch and be my homeward dove
And dance me to the end of love
Please Dance me to the end of love

Let me see your beauty when the witnesses are gone
Let me feel you moving like they do in Babylon
Show me slowly what I only know the limits of
And dance me to the end of love
Please Dance me to the end of love

Dance me to the wedding now
Dance me on and on
Dance me very tenderly
And dance me very long
We're both of us beneath our love
We're both of us above
And dance me to the end of love
Won't you dance me to the end of love

Next, we have my little sprouts. This morning I looked at my little mary-gold plants and they have sprouts! Last time I looked there was only one, now there are many! I can't wait till there are actually flowers :)

Lastly, and probably bestly, I woke up this morning after a crappy nights sleep to my husband's hugs and encouraging words. I was groggy, as I normally am, but I told him that I didn't sleep that well. As I just stood there he wrapped his arms around me and said, "I'm sorry baby. Take a nice warm shower and we'll get some coffee in you. You'll feel better then." He was warm and clean-smelling and confident. Sometimes I can't get enough of him. Those were perfect words for me in my barely awake state. Thanks to that lovely man I started the day off on the right foot.

Monday, February 27, 2012

Mission: Real Happiness

It is no secret that I think too long and too much about very simple things. Lately, Happiness has been one of them. In the grand scheme of things I am happy with where I am. Somehow thought I can't deny that I haven't been feeling the happiness on a daily basis. Now listen, I completely acknowledge that there is nothing crazy going on in my life right now. I know sometimes you need to have perspective and realize that complaining about little things is dumb. But I have found myself doing a lot of this lately. And often I find myself wondering why I don't have a happy outlook.
Project Renovate! I am a positive reinforcement type of person so in that vein I am going to be blogging (at least weekly) about things happening now that are making me happy. Things I am noticing and appreciating, or things that I do to turn around my mood, in the hopes that I will be able to see how many things are making me happy, and begin to appreciate them.
Also, as a full disclosure side note, I have recently begun the transition from consistent anti-depressant taker to non-antidepressant taker. I have no shame in telling you that I have been on my chosen anti-dep for quite a while. I began in college after my nagging back and leg pain was dubbed “there’s nothing wrong with her let’s call it fibromyalgia”. I also had a lot of anxiety and often an upset stomach. When I began with the anti-deps I noticed how nice it was to be able to go places and do things without always worrying about being sick. When Mike was killed, my amazing physician suggested upping my dosage, along with other things, to help me cope. I wasn’t in much of a position to fight back. Fast forward and I’m still plugging along, never really finding the right time to try to get off of them. But alas, I am in as stable a place as ever, and I think I can properly cope without them now. YAY! I tell you this because I have noticed being all over the map emotionally as I step down the anti-deps, and finding and acknowledging happy things may be a good tool for me in my (hopefully) anti-depressant-free future J
I will start today.
Getting ready this morning made me happy, even if getting out of bed early to do it did not. Feeling put together for work, having my hair clean and done, and not feeling too big for my clothes all day has put me in a generally good place.
Reading a new blog I found this weekend that focuses on how a wife appreciates her husband every single day has made me happy, and reflective. Her writing style is pretty awesome, and as I read just through the “letters” section I was fully captured and enjoying every minute. (find it here!)
Knowing I made a plan for myself this evening to indulge in some continuing education for my future counseling career makes me excited to go home and NOT just lay on the couch. My job right now may be just to help us save up while were in KS but having something on my schedule that I actually have a passion for and can do to make money in the future has helped keep me going today.
Please feel free to share your happiness tricks with me :)