Saturday, October 17, 2009

Happy Sweetest Day

It's sweetest day, and although it's a "hallmark holiday" it's also a day to remind you to tell the one you love how you feel with cards, flowers, dinners, and chocolate and crap. So this year I did what I did last year (wow) and went to get flowers to take to Mike. It's freezing and rainy and I was in a horrible mood, so I told myself I could go visit for a few minutes and then come home, have some tea (which turned into wine) and wrap up in a blanket and talk to him there. So I went to Trader Joe's because they have a wide variety of pretty flowers and after I picked a bunch with an orange Lily or two(because he used to buy me those) and among others some purple Irises (because they would have been at our wedding) I decided to grab some wine too. I stood in line, this guy behind me with a bouquet of red roses, and when I walked up to pay the cashier said, "Oh, for Sweetest Day?!!?" and I stuttered as I didn't know how to answer. I was in my own bubble, trying to get in and out and move through this crappy part of the day and suddenly I couldn't figure out what to say. I replied with a simple, "yes, um yes it is." because it is. I didn't want to share but I thought, if you only knew. I guess wine + flowers = Sweetest Day, duh! And when I got into the car all I could think about was what we would be doing. Which I don't actually know, except it probably be fun, and we would probably laugh, and somehow Mike would surprise me with some gesture that would remind me just how much he cared for me. At the cemetery I just got mad, standing in the mud, wishing I had put on more layers so I could stay for a little longer. I told him I loved him, which he already knows, and I kissed his headstone and told him to be good and I'd see him soon. (read: it's just what we say to each other. no reason to get alarmed.) I remembered that last year I was at the florist trying to pick out flowers, asking my mom if they were ok because although I wanted to make sure everything I got him was the best version, I couldn't really tell up from down. I remember Journey coming on the radio and just laughing. Journey is his thing, that I share. And now it's become this thing that constantly reminds me of him. That was him saying hi. Today as I put the bouquet of flowers down, one of the roses broke off and fell right in front of me. I think he was giving me that one. Thanks baby. Happy Sweetest Day. I love you.

4 comments:

Anne and Andy said...

What a beautiful post. I am 110% certain that Mike was offering that rose back to you, as a gift on Sweetest Day :)

jenny said...

this. this is character.

i'm glad he got you a flower.

love you.

Justina said...

That was nice of him to give you a flower as well...
I love when things work out like that...
Just a little twist of fate, to let you know that you are loved!!

Am I the only one who has never heard of "Sweetest Day"??

dess said...

Well Stacey, I'm in tears reading this. But I'm noticing that I'm not crying out of sadness, its because I'm so touched by the love that you and Mike had and still have. How beautiful that you have those memories and thoughts of him. I don't know how this comes across to you but I am in awe of you and your strength. I know you don't always feel strong but you are to me. I think Mike surely dropped that flower for you, and is sending you his love every day and forever. He loves you so much and I know he's proud of you and YOUR character. Keep your chin up,sweetheart. Love you.
(sorry I should have just sent you a message!)
Dess