Lazy Sunday

Lazy Sundays make me think of you too. I can remember you telling me that Sundays would be your favorite day once you were back. We could (possibly) go to church, come home and have lazy days where we just lay around in sweats and watch TV, catching up on "us" time. Lily and I have had a lazy Sunday today. I woke up and took her for a little walk because it is so cold. It was very icy as well and I almost fell. Then I was laughing and did fall, dropped the leash and everything. I was worried Lily would take off but she was so startled by the abrupt fall that she just cowered down and looked at me like "what are you doing on the ground, mom?!" Thank goodness I didn't have to chase after her after that fall. Other than that I've eaten cookies and watched America's Next Top Model re-runs all day. Now that it's 4 I feel like I should be doing something. Due to some advice on the headaches, I have also been drinking some water!

We have friends coming next week. Friday Mike's roommate and his fiancee are coming for a visit. I haven't seen Matt since before they both deployed. They will be staying at our place. It will be very nice to see them but it will be hard too. When I went to Texas to visit we would all hang out, watch movies, or go to Austin together. I am pretty sure that once they are here it will be fine. Thinking about it makes me excited and nervous.

Adam and Katie are also coming at some point in the next week or so. They are leaving Texas and driving to Columbus. They want to come up for a day and go see mike, possibly meet his family, and hang out for a little bit. As part of the back story- they introduced us. Katie is one of my best friends from high school and when I went to visit her and her then-fiancee, Adam, in Texas they had invited Mike over on a whim for dinner along with another couple. We (obviously) hit it off well so we definitely thank them for the accidental introduction!

So it should be an interesting week/weekend. I love you so much, Michael.

Headache. Cheesecake. Both cars in the garage.

Just to warn you, there is no point to this post. I have been having these headaches. It's almost everyday. It dulls and it gets more severe but it's so annoying! I take advil, or excedrine(?). I take naps, take my allergy meds. I'm not sure what is the cause of this issue but hopefully I can figure it out and get it taken care of soon.

On another note, I love cheesecake. It is so delicious and I think I could eat it every single day! Good way to gain some weight I guess. It's just a little thing, but it gives me some smiles!

Lastly, I am able to put both cars in the garage. This is so very exciting for me. It happened 2 days ago and I'm still thrilled everytime I get home. My liberty is now my parent's, which worked out better than I could have expected (yay!) and I am able to pull my work car right up next to the wrangler. I look over and pretend that we'll both be enjoying that guy... It will get some good use anyway.

Today.

I have a hard time figuring out the "hardest part." If people asked, "What's the hardest part of this whole thing?" I don't have the slightest clue where I would begin. It depends on the day. Sometimes it's thinking about where we would be if today he were here, if the deployment just continued as planned and Mike came home and our life was finally closer to what we considered "normal." Sometimes it's thinking about him on that day. Or the uncertainty I have over what he is experiencing now, what he sees, what he feels, whatever. Sometimes it's missing more than anything the moments and things that were just between us. Today it's everyone else moving on. Not that anyone is supposed to not move on. It is weird to me how much I feel everyone else moving on, continuing what started, while I'm holding on so tightly. It really doesn't matter, at the end of the day, how hard I try to grip the past, because time just keeps going. Today that's the cruel part. Today that is what I feel.