Friday, November 21, 2008

Quick Update- Change of Driection

The update is quick tonight because I'm getting tired, and I've learned that I need to use those moments when I feel tired, otherwise I do not sleep. As you may have noticed a few thing on the blog have changed. I began this blog to keep a journal of the second half of this deployment Mike and I were slowly progressing through. I thought it might be nice in the future, when we are all happy and giddy to be under the same roof, to take a step back and see how much we missed each other. I thought it could help us to cherish what we had because it was finally, FINALLY, what we wanted.

Mike was killed on Sept 24, 2008 while out on a mission. He was detaining 4 people (wow was it hard to force my fingers to type the word "people") and one of them had a suicide vest and decided to detonate. Mike was the closest, his team was following. He was the only one who lost his life on that mission, although a few others were injured. Wow I can't believe I just typed that whole paragraph out. It's just so far from what we pictured for ourselves. No one pictures this for themselves, but it was like I was blindsided. Since he went back after R&R in July, he assured me his new job was "much safer" for the last couple months. He had (Insert small number here) months left. What he didn't tell me, and possibly his only real lie, or lie by omission, was the reactionary force he was a part of. I know he didn't tell me because then I would have been very very freaked out- as it appears would have been warranted.

My brain has been going 50000 miles a min, or 5 miles a min so you may have to endure a bit of rambling and such while I use this as a sounding board to clear my head. Now that my life has taken this change in direction, the blog has gotten a little makeover and change of direction as well.

Michael you are the love of my life, my hero, my heart, my best friend.


Sheena said...

I'm so impressed that you were able to put your fingers to the keyboard for this. You are amazing and so strong!

Shannon said...

I'm equally impressed you were able to write that. You are an incredibly strong woman, Stacey, and I admire that in you. No one should ever have to go through what you are. Yet, the way you seem to be handling it never ceases to amaze me.

Kim said...

I love you dearly, I still can't believe it either. You're so strong and I'm so proud of you for keeping this going. I miss you.

Sam said...

Hang in there girlie. Baby steps

Brooke said...

Every day that passes, you and Mike are in my thoughts and prayers. I'm so sorry you have to be writing any of this! It's not fair! My heart, thoughts, and prayers continue to be with you Stacey!