Friday, June 1, 2012
I've been playing around with the blog- have you seen the few background changes? I can't decide what I like so I'm just dabbling a bit in some different things. As I've been back through a year or so of posts I have noticed a few things and mostly the blog has been pretty chaotic. Obviously the original purpose, circa post one and two, were to keep track of the second half of a deployment. From there we all know life took quite a dramatic shift and as I navigated through the ins and outs of that, the blog was simply a representation of my feelings and where I was. It often helped me "get it out" and then process and identify with others who were, or have been in the same place.
As I seem to have identity crises, so follows my little blog. In the last year I have been growing and learning and changing, as we all do. I have tried to convey feelings here and within the last year I have had so many positive things happen-- but reading back through the blog makes me feel mostly gray. Please don't think I live in the depths of depression consistently. I recognize that when I feel my strongest emotions are when I like to write them down, and I guess this year, minus the wedding posts, those are the feelings I've been identifying with.
A lot of great things are going on in life right now, and sometimes I catch myself remembering that I never thought I'd be back here. I can't scream loud enough how lucky I feel to be where I am and have the perspective I have. All I've ever wanted (I'm talking EVER, since like kid-hood) was to be happy. To figure out how to take things in stride, appreciate what's worth it in life, and smile and laugh more than I cry and complain- that's my dream.
Great things are happening- I have amazing friends, who are now starting to have amazing BABIES :) I have probably the best dog on the face of the planet. My husband lets me be me even when it drives him up the wall! I am starting school again on Monday and that mean's I'm one day closer to doing what I would really love to do everyday. I have a job that I can totally handle, and get to see people every day who make me smile in their own quirky ways. This is what it's about- and shifting my focus is where I am at. Authentic appreciation, not perfection. Happiness and joy- this is what I'm striving for.