Take Me Back

Friends

And Family

We had a wonderful, packed-full trip back to my homeland. It was full of firsts for Killian; first airplane ride, hotel stay, and first meetings with family and friends. I love being there but traveling with a little one is rough, so it's nice to be back home. 

I spent some time reflecting and praying this morning. {Side note- prayer seems absolutely necessary since having this little one, if only to thank God for his safe arrival and his presence in our lives.} In this time this morning I found myself in tears about the distance between me and my friends and family. Sure, since we were just back there the leaving is fresh and so is the sadness. I spend my days recording poopy diapers and soothing temperatures from vaccines, and I just wish some of that could be done with a friend by my side. 

So I miss you all. I loved seeing you. I can't wait until we're back again {for good? Ha}.

Three generations of men I love. 

Love in the New Year

Nick and I get very excited to celebrate our wedding anniversary.  Last year we spent it sharing the evening with some of the best friends, who we've actually shared NYE with for every New Year since we met :) We missed them this year! This year was a little different- no alcohol for me and bebe so it was a little more calm, but still happy. We usually reminisce with stories from our wedding like, "Oh, at this time you guys were getting to the church and my girls wouldn't let me look out the window to see you,"  And, "Remember when we cut the cake and had no idea which part to cut into? Did we even eat any cake…?" And, "All. That. Jameson."

This year, we were able to travel to Georgia to celebrate another beginning of the year wedding, and see some of our Army friends.  It was such a nice weekend! Easy travel (thank goodness!), fun stories, and a beautiful bride and groom!! It was fitting to start off the year of my personal focus on LOVE with a wedding.  Love of two people starting a life, love of friends we haven't seen in a while, just love everywhere.

Really Great Friends

You know what is awesome about really great friends? That they do awesome things.  I have been thinking about my circle of really amazing people a lot lately. We've moved a lot. (A LOT).  Friends who have stuck around through that (or that we met through those moves!) have been around a while, and they just mean the wold to me.  I am so thankful that they have time and energy to put into our friendship even when life is crazy and there seems like there isn't much time or energy left.  Really great friends are simply really great.



Last weekend I also had a pretty awesome few days! One of my nearest and dearest, my maid of honor (because she hates the word matron- and I don't blame her) Jenny got a little surprise.  After careful preparation and coordination, a couple of her friends drove to visit for the weekend and planned a Saturday full of girl time with lunch, a little shower of baby and mommy presents, and pedicures.  It has been a while since I saw Jenny (in real life) and I don't know that I've ever surprise-visited anyone so it was really fun! She is super close to being due with baby #2 and between that and being mommy to the most adorable and personality-filled little 2 year old, life get's crazy.  Her darling husband coordinated everything thanks to the magic of facebook and definitely wins husband of the year!  By the way, if that weren't enough, he also cooked us delicious apple cinnamon pancakes and made chicken tacos for dinner- you rock!

I just love this family, and I cannot wait for them to welcome their newest member at the end of the month.  I wish them moments of somewhat-quietness, and as much rest as possible before #2 makes his/her arrival!

Of course Target has the coolest Baby stuff- so we ended up with duplicates, but they are different sizes :)

Just a note that these pictures are compliments of Jenny's cousin.  This is why I always usually take pictures of my own, but somehow this weekend was too fun for me to remember to do that.

I appreciate Me.

Driving through Kansas State University's campus a few weeks ago, in sunshiny whether, I was annoyed at all those college kids.  I noticed how they'd just step of the street in front of a car, how they wore way to short of shorts, and how young they all seemed.  It's been 7 years since I graduated college. SEVEN?! WHOA.

But you know what, I think I decided today that I am happy I'm not college-aged anymore.

On a quest to be a more authentic version of myself, I've tried to become comfortable with who I am, what I am, all of me, right now, in this exact moment.  Even though we are all working to be better versions of ourselves, I want to be happy in my shoes, now.  That's all I get for certain, and it makes for a more happy life.  This morning in yoga I set the intention to just appreciate me.  No negative self-talk.  I initially meant this just as "in yoga" like when I use a block for a side angle pose and wish I was as strong as the girl I'm facing because she's not using a block and also looks amazing in those yoga pants.  I tried to just say "great job with that chair pose, you kicked its ass!" and "nice job coming to practice today, you will definitely benefit mentally and physically. I'm proud of you."

I'll tie this together, let me get there.

Tonight I shared drinks and stories with some of my friends I hadn't seen in a while.  Since I'm leaving soon we're trying to soak it all in now.  After some food, we decided to wander through Aggieville (think downtown college area with bars and shops) and shopped a little bit.  I tried on clothes that were cute and summery and also maybe a bit to young for me.  I felt bloated from mexican, and awkward in the smallest clothes on the universe. (seriously, they are made for elves.)  I felt old, and fat, and not the same as I was 7 years ago.  I felt a little down on myself.

Then I thought about my earlier intention. You know what?  I'm not 21.  I've got a few years and a few hundred million more experiences on me than I did 7 years ago.  But I am damn proud of who I am right now, and all of those crazy, happy, horrible, sad, thrilling, lovely experiences.

Maybe we should all make lists of things we are proud of ourselves for.  Here are some of mine.

• I have an honest, true, deeply loving relationship with one of the best men in the entire world.  I get to call him my husband. We had a kick-ass wedding filled with love, laugher, drinks, fun, great music, and the most outstanding family and friends who traveled far and wide on a holiday to celebrate with us. 

• I own a dog, (at one point all on my own) and she is one freaking awesome dog. 

• I have 2 homes in my (our) possession. And yes, it's a pain we have them and don't live in them, but how fortunate to have 2 roofs to be over our heads, should we need them.
• I love my family. 

• I've jumped out of an airplane.

• I lost the love of my life. And I hated it. I was dragged kicking and screaming back into life. I didn't die. 
• I've made some of the very best friends in people I only knew online for a while.

• I have run a 10 mile race in DC in honor of an amazing man.  Twice.

• I have run countless 5K and other races, all of them with my teammate by my side.
• I have moved 4 times in the past 2 years.  I'm pretty good at it now.
• I started my own business.
• I was able to provide support to 2 of my closest friends as they welcomed the most beautiful baby boy. 

• I have gone back to school to pursue a dream I didn't even know I had 7 years ago.
• I reached my original "goal career" 2 or so years after college. 
• Earned my own Spurs.

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• I can travel with the best of them.
• My music taste is so. much. better. 
• I swam with dolphins.
• I've conquered my migraines (it's an ongoing process). 
• I'm a yogi :)

So ya, I'm not 100lbs, wearing short skirts and running through the snow to mad jacks (read: college bar, no longer there). But I'm ok with that. College was awesome, and some of the friends I made there are unmatched- I wouldn't trade them for the world.  But I really like where I'm at.  Friday night blogging at 8:30pm. :)

I'm definitely fine with this.

I appreciate me.

Baby Frankie

It's finally time to post about the beautiful new baby in my life :)  Ok he is not my baby, but I try to snuggle him as much as possible and I look forward to telling him when he is older about how adorable he was as a baby.

One of my closest friends had her little baby boy, Frankie, on March 3 after about a day of contractions at home, and an estimated 17 hours in labor at the hospital.  She was nothing short of superwoman.  She was allowed to have 2 people with her while she was in labor, and I was luckily able to to be the extra person beside her husband.  She was strong and in control during contractions, she didn't scream, moan or yell at all.  She was surprised when the nurses kept telling her how impressed they were with how she was handling the pain of the contractions.  She was able to recognize her limits and the fact that she hadn't slept, and she made the right decision that allowed her some relief and rest to gather energy for the delivery.  She was patient when the doctor told her to take another nap before getting started, when inside my head I was screaming JUST GET THE BABY OUT!  I was so, so anxious, and she was graceful and trusting in the process.  She did fantastic and Frankie was born around 5pm weighing around 7lbs, happy and healthy and perfect.  It was literally one of the most amazing moments I've experienced.  I cannot imagine how much more emotional the experience is when it's your own child. :)

Without further delay, I will include a couple of the best pictures.

Foot Rubs for Momma

Frankie finally made his arrival!

Grabbing Daddy's finger :)

Family of 3!

Congratulations to Mom, Dad and little Frankie! Nick and I cannot wait to share your next adventure as parents with you!

Making a Difference for 2013

During the holiday season many people decide to graciously donate money, time or resources to a charity of their choice.  To help make a difference in 2013, I want to make sure you all know about the non profit that supported me through the last 4 years.  I'm sure you already know which group I'm going to ask you to consider for your donations this year- The American Widow Project!

Let me share a letter from the AWP ladies about holiday donations:

Over the past 5 years, the AWP has been able to reach out to more than 1,200 military widows across the United States. This year alone, because of your support, we have served more than 500 military widows and held 10 National AWP events. Your generosity has given us the ability to continue growing strong and guiding our nations military widows through a healing journey. Please accept our sincere thanks for all that you have done to support the families of our nations heroes. 

Our wish for the New Year is that we are able to reach out to the widows who have yet to find the support they so desperately need and deserve. With over 6,300 casualties in Iraq and Afghanistan, and over half of those being married, there are still thousands of widows who long to know they are not forgotten or alone in this journey. 

To continue our service of providing support to the widows of our fallen, we need your help. This holiday season please consider making a tax deductible donation to the American Widow Project. Or, view our suggestions below for others ways to give back. Your support is greatly appreciated and enables us to reach so many who long to see that there is hope for them even after tragedy.
In the months ahead we look forward to sharing with you, how through your gifts, we are truly touching hearts, saving lives and remembering our heroes. 

Happy Holidays!
Warmest wishes,
The American Widow Project

Here are some ways, beside donating money, to help the organization continue to do what they do best- build friendship and support to help those who have lost their Loves while serving in the military.

• In lieu of gifts: Instead of your company giving gifts to staff members and clients, consider donating money to help sponsor a widows attendance to one of our upcoming 2013 events. It's the gift that will keep on giving into the new year! 
• Host a Holiday Party: We all have them, right? Why not use your office or home holiday party to spread awareness about the AWP! We'll even provide you will all the tools you need to get started. 
• Post a Facebook status or tweet about all the ways to donate and give back to the widows of our nations heroes. Simply copy and paste our sample tweets and statuses below or use your own.
• Facebook: I am helping military widows and so can you! You can organize or attend an event, become an AWP Ambassador, or just spread the word! It’s easy to make an impact and every little bit helps fund their programs. Get involved today at www.americanwidowproject.org.
• Twitter: I'm helping @americanwp and so can you! Host an event, become an Ambassador or just spread the word! www.americanwidowproject.org/volunteer
• Shop our store: Model some of our AWP Apparel! From zip up hoodies to our signature AWP pin. Plus, they make great stocking stuffers! 
• Create your own Crowdrise fundraising page: From now until the first of the year you can create your own campaign to raise funds for our programs through the holiday season. 
• Gift Cards: While you're out picking up those gift cards for those hard to please family members, pick up a grocery store gift card to be used for an upcoming event! The AWP covers all costs for 10-12 widows at each event. Providing grocery cards allows us to put more funding into our programs that directly benefit the lives of military widows. 

Thanks for checking out the AWP, the things you can do to help, and considering showing some support this holiday season! 

The Last Few Weeks- in Pictures

Spent a few days at the beach in Connecticut, checking another state of my list.

And seeing purple sand and a very important spot.

Beach time with some beautiful people

While my family takes a little South Carolina vacation-- Miss you guys! You can't tell my brother and father are related at all, right?!

Love to see what new positions Lily comes up with!

Lastly, spent the 4th of July with some American Soldiers ;)

Late- Big things are happening

Guys, a few weeks ago very VERY big things were happening. I haven't told you about them yet, maybe because they are happening to people around me, maybe I'm just a little lazy... or busy, but here are some announcements.

One of my very best friends had a baby the day before one of my other very best friends got married. DANG.

I get to go meet Molly, and see Pat and Jenny in a few weeks, so more about her then!

But--- one of the coolest wedding I've been to (and I've been to just a few) was Kim and CJ's. Reasons their wedding was so fantastic:

1. They got married on the beach. ON the beach. Without shoes, right in the sand, in front of the ocean. Isn't that everyones dream wedding??

2. We wore no shoes, and it rocked!

3. As bridesmaids we got to get whatever dress we wanted as long as it was in the right color family. EASY and INEXPENSIVE as a bridesmaid!

4. Kim's family is the best at hosting stuff and it was great to see them all :)

5. The music. The music for the ceremony, for the reception, and apparently also for the favor. They had 2 mixed CDs, some people got CJ's mix and some got Kim's mix. Nick is holding the CD hostage in his truck.

Overall- awesome experience! So happy for the Strausses and can't wait to plan a trip to Boston to visit!

The moment when they walked back up the isle and were married. My favorite part.

The New Adventures of Lewis and Clark

Do you guys know Tori and Zac? Ok in case you don't, let's rewind. Zac is one of Mike's best friends from grade school and high school. They played football together- it's kind of a big deal! :) So after Mike was killed, Zac and Tori were amazing friends. They lived nice and close to me so Tori would pop over and get me out of the house, or at least chill with me. We worked out together and then we'd eat at Taco Bell, to balance things out! She and Zac watched Lily a few times for me while I had to go out of town for work. They are really great friends. Zac decided to join the army about a year ago and has finished all his early training and is now part of the 82nd Airborne here at Ft. Bragg. Needless to say Tori and I were ecstatic to realize we'd be in the same place after they were in GA for a year.

Zac and Tori began their move a couple weeks ago and unfortunately some plans they had to sign paperwork to rent a condo fell through. It was a stressful weekend for them because they drove a truck up with about half of their stuff so that they could begin moving stuff in. Since I work in our apartment community, when I talked to them I told them I could get them in a unit by Sunday with no problems. They tossed the idea around and ran the numbers and (YAY!) decided to go for it! So now not only are we in the same area, we are literally next door to each other! Nick and I couldn't be more excited that they are right here! Tori and I have many, MANY more fun adventures together now that we live the closest we've EVER lived to each other!

On a side note, when we all hang out I am so thankful and very retrospective that I've know these 2 amazing people through several stages of the last few years. I met them with Mike, and I remember him telling me all about them before we met. They were there when we found out. Zac helped me with all my finances when I needed him most and could have cared about money the least. Tori had so many late night convos with me about everything and her positive energy always made me feel a little more at peace with life. I just couldn't be happier now that they know and love Nick, are able to celebrate our engagement (yea, I'll update on that in a bit) with us. I just love them very, very much.

(oh, the title of the blog? Zac and Tori's last names- before they were married of course)

What's been going on?

Sorry everyone, I've been out of the loop lately. Just getting used to life here. It's a bit of an adjustment for both Nick and I but luckily it has been mostly great fun! Lily loves have 2 people that adore her around all the time and I'm pretty sure she's best friends with Nick now. We've had some little growing pains but nothing huge, which I am very thankful for. I am also getting used to working again. It's a nice, fairly laid back job and one of my co-workers is becoming a great friend so it's definitely worth it! Plus, with all the weddings coming up and needing to travel the little bit of money will help, I hope. I also start school in a few weeks and (I know I've said this before) I cannot wait! I feel like I've been waiting and talking and thinking about this program for ages and FINALLY I get to start some great classes. The first summer semester I am taking Family Therapy on Monday and Wednesday and Crisis Intervention on Tuesday and Thursday. Both classes are taught by my advisor so she was telling me about them before I registered. Thrilled is the best word I can think of to describe how excited I am!

In the last few weeks, we've done a little celebrating and a little relaxing, when time permits! Nick finally started his language classes, so we take advantage of any time he's not studying :)

We celebrated Cinco de Mayo with our friends in the building. I made fresh guacamole and the men grilled the beer/lime chicken.

We took a Sunday walk at the Cape Fear River Trail with Lily. We went about 2 miles and she was one tired pup.

I tried a new recipe suggested by my friend- easy and really delicious. I just steamed some veggies like cabbage, mushrooms, zucchini and then cooked up some turkey sausage with some onions and put that on top of the veggies.

Celebrated some good news

Enjoyed a day off by the pool

We are both really enjoying NC! For me, the weather is such a great benefit- the sun is out all the time. It's quite a change from the gray Cleveland months. Hope everyone has had an enjoyable last few weeks!

Grab your boat shoes

After a day of storms and tornados that led to no electricity for us, we decided to try to have some fun on Sunday. Some friends of ours live in a development with a lake and luckily one of them has a boat. We spent part of the day Sunday catching some sunshine and relaxing on the boat. We missed Beth and little AJ and l'm looking forward to this weekend when AJ has a life jacket so we can all have some fun!

We were able to cook some breakfast on the neighbor's fire: grease-filled eggs and bacon :)

Then we headed out.

The boys had some fun.

I had some sun!

And then things went south... We decided after some drifting and chatting that it was time to go back and Dan could change places with Beth and she could have some boat fun. The boat decided it had different plans. It refused to start.

Mike tried to fix it.

I didn't stress.

We got a tow back...

and hitched up the boat for the day.

When we took the boat back to Mike's, Nick found a second new toy he'd like.

Before I ended up with a house on the lake, a boat and a new motorcycle, I decided to act quickly. I turned the conversation back to resuming Taco Night back at the homefront. We headed to our friend's place and celebrated Dan and Nick both being "Selected!"

All in all it wasn't a bad weekend. We were all very lucky to escape any damage because there have been a lot of people who were displaced by the tornados, or have even worse things to worry about. Sunday on the lake was a nice retreat!