Hrvatin Heritage and Happiness

Grandma and Grandpa's Wedding Day

I was home a couple weeks ago for my grandmother's funeral.  After being in the nursing home for about 8 years, it was her time to go home.  Although we miss her dearly, we know that her life was lived to the fullest possible extent and now she is reunited with my grandpa.  They have to be overjoyed to be back together again!  He passed about 2 years ago, and since then it has seemed unnatural for them to be apart.

In the few days we spent looking through photographs and recounting memories, I came away full to the brim with happiness and love.  So many pictures of my dad when he was younger, and our whole family, reminded me that life is good.  As my aunt and I tried to recap memories of grandma to the pastor who would be doing her funeral service, the themes I noticed in my grandmother's life were laughter, love, and happiness.  Could there be a better legacy?  To know that even in times where they didn't have a lot of money, or the nicest car, or a brand new TV, their days were filled with happiness.  People remember her laughter and so many of her sayings.  I remember my grandparents house as the most fun place to spend time, with a front porch swing, and a tree we could climb in the front.  I remember being happy there and feeling loved there, always.

They didn't have everything, but they knew happiness.  It is so easy to get caught up in the irrelevant details of life.  It's quite a mental shift to realize that happiness is not wrapped up in material things.  That seems to get away from me in the hustle and bustle of everyday life.  So many people are searching for the secret to happiness.  Simplify and love and you will live a happy life.  That's what I learned from these memories.

So in weeks like this one, where I begin to feel sad and afraid for the way our world is shaping up, I remember that foundation.  The love and happiness that surround me from family and friends.  I suppose even in times of anger and distress, if you have those people around you, everything will be ok.

The only time my dad was ever chubby.

Baby Ron

Typical Easter Picture.  Look at that pout! Ha!

My Father on his first job post-college.

Grandpa and my Dad fixing a car.  This is one of my favorites!

Grandpa in uniform

My Grandfather's "Enlisted Man's Pass" From the Army Air Corps

Grandpa carried mail for 30+ years, always with a smile. 

Most of the pictures of Grandma were on display, but I was able to take home some of the pictures of my dad and my grandfather. 

New York to California

It's all about perspective, ladies and gentleman.  I continue to be reminded of that over and over.

(Pause...Are there even gentleman that read this blog?! Anyway...)

After a few mentally exhausting days that had me filled with anger, but without anyone to direct that anger toward, I broke down last night.  I cried in my car, I withdrew from participating in any part of dinner/discussion/pet parenting/school work.  I just didn't want to.  I felt horrible.  Because all I wanted to do was throw something through something else, break something, run over something, and scream until I felt pain in my throat. I haven't felt that angry in a while.

Then it happened- a change of perspective.  I crawled out of my hole and I heard a song randomly selected by the iTunes shuffle gods. New York to California by Mat Kearney. A song I used to think about in very different terms, but it brought me 180 degrees from where I was. Made me stop dwelling on what I have not, and rejoice in what I have. What I have is so much.


If you find yourself lost out in this world
Then I'll find a way to get back to your side.
No mountains to high, no stone is too small
I'll build a bridge through the fire
For you I would crawl
From New York to California.


I have the best partner, who is on my side, believes in my goodness, and throws love my way. And I'd crawl anywhere to get to him.

It's all about perspective.

Baby Frankie

It's finally time to post about the beautiful new baby in my life :)  Ok he is not my baby, but I try to snuggle him as much as possible and I look forward to telling him when he is older about how adorable he was as a baby.

One of my closest friends had her little baby boy, Frankie, on March 3 after about a day of contractions at home, and an estimated 17 hours in labor at the hospital.  She was nothing short of superwoman.  She was allowed to have 2 people with her while she was in labor, and I was luckily able to to be the extra person beside her husband.  She was strong and in control during contractions, she didn't scream, moan or yell at all.  She was surprised when the nurses kept telling her how impressed they were with how she was handling the pain of the contractions.  She was able to recognize her limits and the fact that she hadn't slept, and she made the right decision that allowed her some relief and rest to gather energy for the delivery.  She was patient when the doctor told her to take another nap before getting started, when inside my head I was screaming JUST GET THE BABY OUT!  I was so, so anxious, and she was graceful and trusting in the process.  She did fantastic and Frankie was born around 5pm weighing around 7lbs, happy and healthy and perfect.  It was literally one of the most amazing moments I've experienced.  I cannot imagine how much more emotional the experience is when it's your own child. :)

Without further delay, I will include a couple of the best pictures.

Foot Rubs for Momma

Frankie finally made his arrival!

Grabbing Daddy's finger :)

Family of 3!

Congratulations to Mom, Dad and little Frankie! Nick and I cannot wait to share your next adventure as parents with you!

Dis-Connected

I have been turning my cell phone off while I am in yoga classes because I have this secret fear that even if it's on vibrate I will have a random reminder go off, or I set an alarm for something and the whole class's savasana will be interrupted by alarming phone noises.  The thing is, most times after class I forget my phone is off.  Probably because I almost never turn it off unless I'm on an airplane.  It's nice to be disconnected and focus on that moment only, not what everyone is posting on facebook, or how many games of gems with friends I have to play, or if I should make a good instagram picture about what I'm doing right now.  It's nice to get lost in my thoughts, even briefly.  I am so quick to automatically check every single method of social media and communication before I even have a cup of coffee in the morning.  It's a nice reminder that the world is fine without me knowing all of everyone's business, and I don't need to share all the intimate details of my daily moments with the mass public.

I have found myself leaving my phone sitting on the table top longer and longer lately.  It's a realization that I really don't need to carry it around with me.  It's ok if it's not within my arms reach.  If someone does call, it will ring.  That's the whole point.  Letting go of all these random forms of mostly pointless communication and focusing on the person I'm with, the task I am working on, the music I'm listening to feels so much better.  No rushing for the next, but fully participating in the now.  People are important to me, and because of that it also seems important to remember that the people I am physically/mentally/telephonically spending my time with deserve my focus at that moment.  I may choose to focus a little more on present moments and be disconnected for longer periods of time.  I like the way it changes my perspective. And it's really all about perspective :)

Thoughts on Family

I wanted to share this quote that my sister-in-law shared with me. We discussed it at length and I really think it has merit, so I wanted to share it!

Hope your Sunday was fantastic!

Happy Valentine's Day, and a Song

Happy Valentine's Day friends! :) I hope your day is filled with reminders of how much you are loved- by friends, family, pets, husbands, wives, girlfriends, boyfriends, coworkers, children, the postman- Whoever!

I also wanted to share with you a song that makes me think of my husband- I have been OBSESSED with it lately.



You saw my pain, washed out in the rain 
Broken glass, saw the blood run from my veins 
But you saw no fault no cracks in my heart 
And you knelt beside my hope torn apart 
But the ghosts that we knew will flicker from view 
And we'll live a long life 
So give me hope in the darkness that I will see the light 
Cause oh they gave me such a fright 
But I will hold as long as you like 
Just promise me we'll be alright...

(you should probably download it immediately)

Night

Sometimes at night when he falls asleep before me, I turn toward him and watch his outline against the shade-covered window.
I listen to him breathe calmly in and out. Steady. Unwavering.
Those moments calm me, and I soak them in.
I watch his chest move up and down, and I thank any and all of the powers that be that he is laying next to me, heart beating strong, body working perfectly.
I memorize those breaths, how they sound.
I take mind pictures of his profile, the way is forehead is relaxed, the proportions of his face.
I memorize these moments so I can remember and repeat them to myself.


You never stop being a (n almost) widow.  I have habits, like this one, that are the result.  I'm lucky and thankful to have him, and I pay more attention and log more memories.  My past reminds me to live fully in these moments before they are just memories.